


What's Wrong?

by Averia



Category: DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-07-28 17:38:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7650190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Averia/pseuds/Averia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had never seen the words, only the beginning of a white letter peaking out underneath his brother’s collar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dick always grew sentimental over some bullshit and the words on their skin were no expectation, the blue eyes sparkled behind the white lenses when he looked up at him, a smile on his lips even with the knife pushed to his throat.

“You know, they had their words edged into their skin,” Dick said and Jason could not misinterpret the pronoun even if he wanted. Dick only spoke about two people like this and he only knew two he had seen die together. Perhaps that was why Dick did not look back at their death the same way Bruce did to his parents.  

It did not stop him to be pissed at the man underneath him, who had gotten in his way again before he had the time to kill the target, who was now lying unconscious in the next room. Nightwing had somehow been able to lock him in there before Jason could recover from crashing into a wall.

“You want to hear my dying words so badly?” Dick asked cheekily, knowing he would never be killed even if Jason threatened to multiple times. His not-so-much brother was stalling time, probably because the Bat was already on his way and Jason really had no need to encounter his dear papa after his run-in with Goldie.

“What? You want to meet your soulmate so badly?” Jason asked with a sneer, lightly pressing his knife down a bit more. He had never seen the words, only the beginning of a white letter peaking out underneath his brother’s collar. It was a fair sign that the soulmate was dead and, boy, that had probably broken the sunny vigilante into pieces. Jason knew they had still been black in his childhood.  

He slammed Dick’s head down into the ground before the snarl could even leave the other’s lips and made his escape at just the right moment. Hopefully, the big guy would take care of Nightwing and the criminal instead of following his estranged son.

Jason had not thought about his soulmate for a long time. Back as a child, he had dreamed of finding his own but never believed in it. He was a street brat who barely left Crime Alley, how would he find anyone if that someone was from anywhere else? His dreams had fully died when Bruce had told him the words on his skin were not the first words his soulmate would ever say to him. His skin was marred with the last words his soulmate would speak, words he might never hear even if he found his destined other.  Jason knew his own soulmate had never heard his dying words. He had died close to alone and he was not desperate enough to think his imposter mom had been his one true love.

But after his death, after the pit, knowing what his dying words were had been his path to sanity. Finally, he had a chance to find the one but when he had searched hungrily for the black words on his body they had nearly disappeared.

Most of the times they were as faint as a scar, he had tried to carve them into his skin again, not wanting to lose them but Talia had held him back with surprising strength. And caught in his own head he had simply stared, tried to burn the words into his retina, afraid they would be gone the next time he opened his eyes.

_ You aren’t. And you never have. _

Shitty last words but his had not been any better, had been a fucking question after all. But at least he had tried to reassure himself, had tried to analyze the situation. The bomb had gone off as his answer. Sometimes he wondered what his words meant for his soulmate because Jason had stared down onto the words on his skin every time he thought he had failed. They were vague but still held an impact, a forgiveness that might never be for him.

_ What’s wrong? _

Perhaps those words could give his soulmate strength as well.

*

Just a few days later he found himself hiding in his dear brother’s apartment because the Bat had taken apart all of his safe houses after he had taken out the scum in the docks. What he had not anticipated was his brother being home, his brother who he had hurt fairly seriously during their last encounter and who had a hell-hound expression on his face despite his half-naked state.

Before Jason could back out, his brother had tackled him to the ground and they fought vigorously, pushing and hitting. This time, Dick succeeded in keeping him down with hands and knees. Jason snarled at him but Dick only looked smug.

His boiling rage made him keep fighting but Dick was unmoving, too used to those kinds of attacks and Jason reluctantly relaxed in the grip. At least Dick could not call Bruce while he was on top of him and Jason decided it would do good to rile him up a bit until Dick lost his focus enough for him to disappear. But before he could decide on something mean pejorative his gaze finally took in the ashen words on his brother’s skin.

“ _No._ ”

The familiar question trailed down his neck, coming to a stop just above his collarbone in a mockingly beautiful curve.

“ _No_ ” he realized how terrified his voice sounded even through the hood “Not you.”

Dick looked at him in worry while he tried to wiggle out and then he realized what Jason had seen. It was more than a punch in his gut when the eyes were full of sadness. Jason did not think, just used the moment of weakness to get out underneath his fucking soulmate. His brother grabbed after him but Jason socked him in the jaw before he could stand up again and skipped out of the window with a look back at Dick, who was kneeling on the floor with a hand covering his bleeding mouth, black strands hiding his eyes.

Jason was done with the world. How was his life such a shit show?

The anger died down a bit by the time he stopped on a roof on the other side of town. Standing in the rain he could admit that the anger he felt was directed at himself, it had always been. He could never fit into the life he had, strayed from the path too often to find lasting friends and his soulmate would never love him.

No matter how hopelessly romantic Dick was. They would never fall in love as long as he killed. The words he had feared to lose burned on his skin and he wished he could destroy them, the bond was broken anyway. He had died. Dick was free of him.

Still, Jason looked back and hoped Dick had not hidden tears behind his bangs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You wanted it, here it is!

Dick stared into the mirror, blood crusting on his lip. Jason had a dangerous right hook.

The ashen words on his skin felt more prominent than ever. A bit accusing even but how could he have known?

The bond had sizzled away while he was in space. He could still remember the shock, the denial. His reaction had been violent just as violent as to his little brother’s death. Never in a million years would he have thought the two events were connected.

The old anger bubbled up inside of him. If Bruce had told him sooner then he might have realized that Jason had been the one.

“And what good would it have been?” he asked his reflection. Jason had come back years after and even with a date Dick would have never guessed that fate had bound him to Jason, to his brother.

Dick pulled his suit on, every heart beat feeling heavy in his chest.

The rain dampened his hair the second he jumped out of the window. Dick did not know what to do, could see Bruce tell him that the bond was broken anyway. The words on his skin were meaningless. He swallowed heavily and tried to decide where Jason had disappeared to. If he had been desperate enough to come to his apartment then Bruce was still after him, a good reason to stay away from the safe houses.

His fingers graced the communicator mid flight but he curled them in again. None of them would be of help.   

Dick searched through Gotham without care for the harsh wind slapping the rain into his face but he found no trail on the roofs and neither on the streets. Jason had vanished from the surface and Dick hoped Crocodile was still sitting in his nice little cell when he dropped down into the gutters.

His hair dripped with water, the droplets sliding down his skin while he stood motionless for a few seconds, the lenses scanning the dark tunnels in a last attempt to find him.

He was found instead, the click of a gun echoing eerily around them while the barrel was pressed against his head.

“Go home, Birdy” Jason growled but Dick had other ideas, turning with the knowledge that Jason would not blow his head away and swept his legs out under him with a kick. They crashed to the stone floor, Jason knocking their heads together. The pain exploded in his forehead and his hand slid from his brother’s shoulder, a knee ramming into his stomach before he was pressed to the ground, an Escrima pushing down onto his throat and robbing him of breath. Dick choked while Jason increased the pressure, his hands pressing against the red emblem to push him off.

“Was I not clear enough?” Jason asked angrily “Come on say the words if they mean something!”   

His lips parted in a futile attempt to breathe instead. The pain and the lack of oxygen were driving dark spots in front of his eyes.

 “Those words don’t mean a fucking thing,a” Jason said haughtily, full body weight bearing down on him.

Dick would have quipped something about melodramatic if he could, instead he put his hips and legs to good use, getting Jason off before he could lose unconsciousness. Jason nearly fell into the dirty water from the power behind the last kick and Dick pushed off the ground heaving, keeping a hand on the stone wall. There was no time to recover though when Jason was coming at him again. He evaded the knife in his hand, disarming him and connecting his palm with the side of his hood to crash his head into the wall. Before he could successfully grab a hand to pin him against the wall Jason turned, nearly able to push him into the water. A punch nearly connected with his cheek but he evaded it, grasping the arm to slam Jason back into the wall.  

“Stop” he gritted out, this time able to pin him there. Jason glowered at him or Dick presumed he did.

“Rough play isn’t to your taste?” Jason bit out “Thought you would like that.”

“Stop being such an asshole.”

“Oh sorry,” Jason said mockingly “Am I not the nice little soulmate you wanted?” 

Dick growled, the vibration hurting his bruised throat.

“Just listen to me.”

Jason sighed dramatically and the breath was knocked out of him when an elbow was rammed into his stomach. He doubled over, groaning in pain.

“Alright I’m listening, Officer,” Jason said innocently, with his hands held up in the universal sign for surrender. Dick knew that did not mean jack shit.

“What is it, pretty bird? Thought you wanted to proclaim your undying love for the undead brother?” Jason spat the last words and Dick frowned, saddened and angry.

“Jay” Dick tried and he was not sure why. Kicking his ass into Blackgate would be a lot more satisfying. “I know we had our differences since you are back but isn’t this an opportunity?”

“I’m not joining your little La la land just because the words on your skin are my last words. You are the proof that I am just a dead man walking. The bond is broken, Dickster” Jason responded but his last words were spoken in defeat. _So it did mean something to_ , Dick thought.

“It’s not. We are--”

 “We are nothing!” Jason roared “You never cared for me when I was young! You weren’t there when I needed you! I didn’t want to find an asshole like you when I looked at those words! I wanted someone who might love me! But you never will!”

Dick felt a chill running down his back and bit his lip, tears prickling in his eyes while Jason stood in front of him as if he wanted to start another fight.

“I already love you,” Dick told him quietly “I know I wasn’t a good brother but I wanted to be there for you and I missed you. It was horrible when I came back to a silent manor.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

Dick swallowed, looking away.

“Alright, alright,” Dick said, smiling though it felt like a wrong sitting mask on his face “If you hate the thought so much then forget you ever saw anything.”

He turned before he could think about all the people who had told him he would never love them, at least not as much as he could or should.

Dick stopped at the ladder, looking back at Jason who had his visor up by now. He could not see his gaze but he was too hurt to play the empathic brother.

When he peeled himself out of the costume he could still feel the gaze on his skin and he collapsed onto his bed, fingers finding the white familiar words on his skin and following the traces. His eyebrows furrowed when the ‘w’ did not follow the right line and he carefully set up again, heart beat speeding up.

The three words were as black as ink, standing proudly on his skin while Dick felt as if his world was tilting.

“You are certainly not going to say those words to me” he whispered, tracing the L.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never said it had a better ending. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	3. Chapter 3

The table was as good a target as any. Rage an all too familiar harmony under his skin. The steel cap of his shoe collided with the hardwood. Why did Dick have to come running the second something was wrong? Why could his stupid brother not just stay in his happy-go-lucky world and leave him in his pitch black hole?  

He fell down onto the old couch, dragged his lighter out and pushed a cigarette into his mouth. His lungs filled with smoke, the nicotine rasping in his throat and he let it out in one long blow.

The bond was said to be instinctual by all who did not believe more than flesh and bone existed. Jason did not share the sentiment, after all, a mother’s love was supposed to be instinctual too but his mother had only ever loved him when she had been high. For years he had feared it would be his future if he did something stupid in his childish brashness.

It was not uncommon to get someone knocked up with a kid in Crime Alley. On bad days he had not cared, on good days he had tried to force a different future.   

Jason breathed in as much smoke as possible until the pressure in his lungs was obvious. Then he held it.

 _I already love you_ had not been words he had wanted to hear. Even though Jason did not love him – not yet anyway -, he knew he wanted more. He wanted to feel complete, just once in his miserable resurrected life. Being his brother was not enough. Brotherly love seemed mundane to him. Nothing would change.   

He let the smoke out when his lungs started to burn.

And perhaps his wish for completion was what made him love literature, what made him into a hopeless romantic even though he tried to hide it behind a harsh and angry mask. Perhaps Dick loved him, perhaps the golden boy soothed his wounds a little bit with ever light banter that did not turn into sharp words but he knew they would fight more days than not.

Fighting scared him because he knew that someday Dick would walk out of his life like everyone tended to do. One day Dick would run the opposite direction or would not follow anymore whatever happened first.  

“It’s better this way”, Jason tried to convince himself. He did not even know if his soul was still the same.

A sigh escaped him and he got up, walking around the mess up weapons he had knocked off the table when it had broken under his kick. It was a wonder they were still here after Bruce had searched through the house.

The face in the mirror looked worse than he had expected and for a moment his green eyes turned sky blue, his lip busted and Jason clasped a hand around his throat. He did not want to know how those bruises looked.

“Shit.”

They had played this game too often for him to feel guilty about it. Dick had roughened him up often enough. They always retreated like animals, licking their wounds before ripping into each other again. But he had never tried to strangle him to death. Even he was not deranged enough to feel victorious about the deed.

He shrugged his jacket off; spotted the bruises Dick had left on his wrist and stared at the words on his arm. They glared back in accession and Jason fell back down onto the couch, staring at the floor with his body hunched. Then he made one of the most cowardly decisions he had ever made. He called Dick even though his soulmate was only three streets away.

“Grayson speaking” Dick answered all business. Jason did not remember if he had a Gotham number or a hidden caller id. It did not matter. Dick had answered the call even though it was 2 a.m. He wondered if Dick was already lying on his bed, curled together because his stomach still hurt.    

“Hello?”

This time he sounded more alert. Jason could practically see the worry rising and his mind jumping to conclusion after conclusion. He left him hanging, fingers pulling out a loose thread from his pants.

“I can hear you breathing, you know.”   

Jason huffed but felt guilty when he finally heard the tell-tale rasp in his voice. An image of his mother flashed in his mind, her smiling lips blood slick and dark bruises around her throat while she gave him back his first and last stuffed animal after his father had nearly burned it in his rage. 

“Sorry.”

It slipped past his lips without invitation and he felt his stomach tighten. Dick was silent on the other end. Jason expected him to hang up but the line stayed connected.

“But you once told me I could call you whenever I need someone to talk to.”

 A shaky breath on the other end made him squeezes his eyes shut in frustration. It sounded as if Dick was falling apart. That made two of them.

“I think I fucked up.”

His voice was shaking, his heart a fast thumping in his chest. 

“Why? Did Bruce find ten dead bodies in your basement, Jay?”

The softness in his voice made the sentence worse than it already was as if his soulmate had only been waiting to pry his heart out with short little tugs. His breath cut short. Dick was an excellent actor, even more, when he was angry or scared. He had always forgotten how cold Dick could really be and he tried not to fall for the trap, had to fight the cold with something different than raging fire for once.

“Dick” he started and had no idea what to say. Anxiety gripped his heart, squeezing at his lungs for good measure. The words on his skin prickled. “Dick, I—I feel lost.”

His soulmate sighed and Jason felt like a child again, waiting for the inevitable to happen while his mind screamed. By now he had both hands on the phone, his skin sweaty.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t” Dick did not speak further. Another breath escaped the man and Jason brushed tears away while he waited.

“If you simply want to talk we should but” Dick halted for a second and Jason could feel the cold grip of fear under his skin. He tried to convince himself that Dick would never use the situation to hurt him more, not the idiot who had come after him. “You could also just open the window.”

His gaze snapped up and he slowly stood up, walked closer to the next window to lay eyes on Nightwing. The slightly hunched stance betrayed how much Jason had really hurt him.  

“Can you just stay there?” he felt like an asshole saying those words but Nightwing only hummed, sitting down cross-legged on the roof.

They fell into silence while they watched each other from a distance. Jason felt strangely safe when he realized Dick would not leave. His muscles relaxed.

“Will you let me in someday?”

Jason blinked, watching the sky behind Dick turn a lighter blue while the stars still shimmered above him.

“I don’t know” he whispered, rasping his knuckles down the window “I want to I guess.”

 “Jason, I just” Dick started, nearly seeming angry at himself “I want you to know that I will never force you to open that window. If this is what you need then I will be damned if I can’t give it to you.”

Jason swallowed, knuckles colliding with the glass. Not enough to break it but enough to feel a dull pain.

“I don’t know what I need. I think I do but I don’t.”

“We’ll figure it out. We both or—”

Jason was not sure if Dick could see his snarl or glare but his brother stopped before he could say something wrong. Rationally he knew Dick was only giving him an option but his behaviour had not been considered rational for a long time now.

“We both, Little Wing” Dick repeated with the hint of a smile in his words and Jason had not heard the nickname for such a long time that it made warmth bloom in his chest.

“You should go home” Jason whispered, one arm crossed over his chest and head tilted down. Dick was silent for a beat before he heard wind meeting the micro when Dick moved.

“I understand.”

“I’m only worried about your injuries” Jason clarified urgently even though he had not planned to and Dick hummed.

“If they are serious enough for you to worry then you should look over them.”

Before he could answer with old biting sarcasm the line went dead and Dick was already gone when he looked up. Jason looked back down at the words and breathed through, snatching his jacket and leaving the house to follow the invitation.

**Author's Note:**

> Dying words were respectively taken from A Death in the Family and Forever Evil.


End file.
